18 Sep

The kitchen became a whirlwind as I rushed kids to make their  own lunch yelling out, “we’ve got ten minutes!”  

Suddenly angry words were being yelled out as Jack rushed to open the bottom of the fridge and Clair rushed to open the top.  Both yelled for the other one to wait until they were done and it triggered me into yelling for them to “BE KIND!”  Luckily for all of us Dad opened the door at that very moment and I ran to my room to take a deep breath and check my emotions.

Often in moments when my kids struggle I don’t pause to check how my behaviors are impacting the situation.  Behaviors are so important to recognize in others around us because they give us a hint to what that person if feeling.  

In this particular moment I was feeling disappointed at how the morning had turned out.  I was also feeling rushed to make it to a Korean language class.  So I was finding my fuse short, or in P.E.T. terms- my acceptance line high.  I had been snapping at them and then rushing them and using impatient gestures when they weren’t ‘quick enough.’  

As I realized this I recognized both Clair and Jack were trying to be obedient. However they both were responding to each other based on their feeling rushed and in trouble.

If I could go back and do this moment again I would take the time to see the behavior and try to understand it instead of reacting to it.  I would thank them for both trying to be obedient and make a comment like, “it is stressful when mom is rushing you.”

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